A friend of mine had 2 blackeyes and I asked him what happened.
"I was in church, and when it was time to stand, I noticed the woman in the pew in front of me had the back of her dress stuck in the crack of her ass. Wanting to help, I pulled it out for her, and she turned around and whacked my right eye".
"What about the other eye?", I asked.
"Well, not wanting to offend her, when she turned around, I stuck it back in".
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