IN THE BEGINNING, GOD CREATED THE COMPUTER…
VOIDIX System V Release 1
Login:
> God
Enter password.
> Omniscient
Password incorrect. Try again.
> Omnipotent
Password incorrect. Try again.
> Technocrat
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
#> Let there be light!
Let: Unrecognized command. Try again.
#> Create Light
Requires authentication. Enter root password.
> password
Syscon: Root logged on at 12:01:30 AM, Monday, March 1.
Create: Done
%> Give Administrative Priviledges to God
Give: Syntax error at argument 2.
%> Give God Administrative Priviledges
Give: Done. God is root. Root is God.
%> Run Light
And God created Light. And God saw there were 0 errors.
%> Divide Light from Darkness
Divide: Done.
%> Set Light = Day
Set: Done.
%> Set Darkness = Night
Set: Done.
%> Logout
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
…
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
%> Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light
Let: Unrecognized command. Try again.
%> Create Firmament
Create: Done.
%> Run Firmament
And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
%> Set Firmament = Heaven
Set: Done.
%> Logoff
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
…
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
%> Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one place and let
the dry land appear and
Let: Unrecognized command. Try again.
%> Create Dry Land
Create: Too many arguments. Try again.
%> Create Land
Create: Done.
%> Run Land
And God created dry land. And God saw there were 0 errors.
%> Set Land = Earth
Set: Done.
%> Set Waters = Seas
Set: Done.
%> Run Grass
Run: "Grass" undefined.
%> Create Grass
Create: Done.
%> Run Grass
And the Earth brought forth grass. And God saw there were 0 errors.
%> Exit
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
…
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
%> Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night
Create: Too many arguments. Try again.
%> Create Sun_Moon_Stars
Create: Done.
%> Run Sun_Moon_Stars
And God made two great lights and the stars. And God saw there were 0 errors.
%> [CTRL-D]
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
…
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
%> Create Fish
Create: Done.
%> Create Fowl
Create: Done
%> Run Fish, Fowl
And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that
creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind and every winged
fowl after its kind. And God saw there were 0 errors.
%> Create Reproduction
Create: Done.
%> Run Reproduction
And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply. And God saw there
were 0 errors.
%> [CTRL-D]
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
…
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Friday, March 6.
%> Create Cattle
Create: Done.
%> Create Creepy_Things
Create: Done.
%> Now let us make man in our image
Now: Unspecified type. Try again.
%> Create Man
Create: Done.
%> Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it and have
dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the air and over
every living thing that creepeth upon the earth
Be: Too many command operands. Try again.
%> Run Man
Run: Execution terminated at run time. 5 errors, 1 warnings.
%> Insert Breath Into Man
Insert: Done.
%> Run Man
Run: Execution terminated at run time. 4 errors, 1 warnings.
%> Move Man to Garden of Eden
Move: File Garden of Eden does not exist.
%> Create Garden.edn
Create: Done.
%> Move man to Garden.edn
Move: Done.
%> Run Man
Run: Execution terminated at run time. 3 errors, 1 warnings.
%> Copy Woman Man
Copy: Overwrite Man.obj (Y/n)?
> n
Copy: Terminated before completion. Try again.
%> Copy Man Woman
Copy: Done.
%> Run Woman
Run: Execution terminated at run time. 2 errors, 1 warnings.
%> Run Man, Woman
Run: Execution terminated at run time. 1 errors, 1 warnings.
%> Create Desire, Freewill
Create: Done.
%> Run Man, Woman
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn.
Warning: Infinite loop detected. 1 warnings.
%> Undo Desire
Undo: Desire cannot be undone while program is running.
%> Stop Man, Woman
Stop: Program not responding. Type [CTRL]-[ALT]-[DEL] to force
termination, Wait to try again in 6000 years, or Cancel to allow program
to continue.
> Help
Help is not available for this command.
> Cancel
Stop: Program termination cancelled.
%> Create Tree_of_Knowledge
Create: Done.
%> Create Evil, Shame
Create: Done.
%> Run Evil, Shame
And God saw he had created shame.
System error in sector E95. Man and Woman not in Garden.edn. 1 errors.
%> Scan Garden.edn for Man, Woman
Scan: Not found.
%> Delete Shame.
Delete: Shame cannot be deleted with Evil running.
%> Delete Evil
Delete: Evil: File not found. Cannot be destroyed.
%> Halt
Unrecognized command. Try again.
%> Stop
Stop: Required parameters missing.
%> Cancel
Unrecognized command. Try again.
%> Damn this computer
Unrecognized command. Try again.
BROADCAST ALERT:
ATTENTION ALL USERS *** ATTENTION ALL USERS: COMPUTER GOING DOWN FOR
REGULAR DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE MINUTES. PLEASE LOG OFF.
%> Create New_World
You have exceeded your allocated file space. You must destroy old files
before new ones can be created.
%> Delete Earth
Delete: Confirm delete Earth (Y/n)?
> Y
Delete: Beginning deletion process. This may take a few moments…
BROADCAST ALERT:
COMPUTER GOING DOWN IMMEDIATELY *** COMPUTER GOING DOWN IMMEDIATELY.
SERVICES WILL RESUME SUNDAY, MARCH 8 AT 6:00 AM. YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW.
Syscon: Killing all processes…
Syscon: Delete process terminated before completion. Check for errors!
Syscon: Logging users off…
And God was booted off the terminal at 11:59:59 PM, Friday, March 6.
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