Understanding Engineers - Take One:
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said,
"Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied,
"Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a
beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground,
took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first
engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't
have fit."
Understanding Engineers - Take Two:
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is
half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to
be.
Understanding Engineers - Take Three:
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with
these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed
in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!" The pastor
said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him."
"Hi George! Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather
slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group
of blind golfers. We always let them play for free anytime." The group
was silent for a moment. The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will
say a special prayer for them tonight. "The doctor said, "Good idea. And
I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's
anything he can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't these guys
play at night?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Four:
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons. Civil Engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers - Take Five:
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The
graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The
graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The
graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Six:
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the
possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer."
Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical
engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical
connections."
The last one said, "Actually it must have been a civil engineer. Who
else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Seven:
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers
believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
Understanding Engineers - Take Eight:
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was
better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he
enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring
relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because
the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both.
If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are
spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get
some work done."
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